I stood in the moonlight and the breeze brings the fragrance of citrus blossoms through my being. It is a night full of gratitude and blessings. Calm and caressing breeze moves to a new direction bringing the scent of jasmine. Fragrances move and swirl, my life is blessed.
It brings to mind and old memory.
I was talking to someone and they said, “When you learned you are HIV positive it must have felt like a death sentence.” I remember saying and believing what I feel in the blessed moment under the stars. I took a breath and smile then and now. “Actually my HIV status was a LIFE sentence.”
When I learned I was HIV-positive, I knew it was time to enjoy the moment. Too many friends had died and it may have been considered a death sentence twenty-plus years ago.
But as a Cabot Yerxa once wrote, “When you are in the basement, the only place to go is up.”
I also realize that with time and distance from the initial moment like "HIV diagnosis”, I can lose sight of the gift of the moment. I become caught up in the moment of should and could and might.
With the breath I can come back to now and be. Be with the gift of who is with me. With the gift of who I am and the perfection of the moment.
Perfection is always present. Every car crash is perfect. Every bee sting.
It is not the “what” is happening, but “how” we decide to deal with it. Are we going to let our choice be misery or blessings?
I choose a “life sentence.” Death will find me when it does. At the perfect time and place. For now, the citrus is blooming. The dogs are curled on the floor. Life is good.
